MEMO

TO:  Green Momma
FROM:   The Parenting Authority
DATE:  January 17, 2013
SUBJECT:  G-rated Cursing

It has come to our attention that, in an attempt to avoid traditional curse words, you have begun to use every day terminology with R-rated emphasis.

This is only effective and appropriate if you completely replace the expletives with acceptable language.  For example, "Hoover Dam" may be considered a creative replacement for "Damn."  Your toddler will not understand the original intent.  If he/she repeats this phrase, it doubtful that they will be harshly punished for doing so.

Unfortunately, "Hoover FUCKING Dam!" is neither appropriate nor repeatable.  It elevates an otherwise tame expletive to the highest level of inappropriate. 

If you continue to use this phrase in mixed company, expect it to emerge from your child's mouth at the most inopportune moment.  This will be harsher than any punishment we could bestow.

Proceed with caution.

Thank you,
Holier Than Thou