Diet Soda Cessation Update #1

My first week attempting to quit drinking diet soda is an utter fucking failure.

The problem is that I love to drink it.  I mean, "I do want to quit for my health and BLAH BLAH BLAH," but actually...I don't want to quit at all. 

I believe we call this the denial stage?

Diet soda is my little treat to myself.  Except that I drink it all damn day, so I should likely substitute the word 'little' with 'GINORMOUS'.  

This past week I decided that until I find a suitable replacement beverage, there was no point in even trying to quit.  How's that for procrastination?  So, instead of working to make myself a healthier person, I have been cataloging all of the things I love about diet soda and mocking all possible replacements.

Why I love diet soda:

1. It has bubbles.  Bubbles = refreshing!  Bubbles = amazeballs!  I hate to drink bubble-less beverages. :-(
2. It is not completely flavorless, nor does it taste like ass.
3. It is very easy to obtain.  One can buy their particular brand of poison pretty much anywhere they please.  It is also relatively cheap.
4. It has caffeine.  This is extremely important.  Last night I worked until 3:30am.  Green Girl woke me up for the day at 7am, after she had already interrupted everyone's sleep at 4am and 5:30am to eat and/or fuss for her pacifier.  I cannot remember the last time that I actually slept all the way through the night (and, yes, I am using that aggravating pediatric yardstick of 6 hours of consecutive sleep = sleeping through the night).
5. Zero calories. For someone who is always on a diet, 'nuff said.

I am not saying that the above list is without major flaws.  In fact, it is chock full of flawed logic.  That is probably why addicts do dumb things like slowly kill themselves by filling up their bodies with chemicals - we can convince ourselves of anything to feed the need.

On to mocking the replacement beverages!

1. Milk - Yuck. No bubbles.  Relatively high in calories.  No caffeine.  Besides, it has too much calcium to be an appropriate replacement.  If it sucked calcium out of ones body - then it could be in the running.
2. Tea - Eh. No bubbles. Warm, crappy taste unless you add a ton of fake sweeteners (no calorie) or real sugar (high calorie).  I have always hated the flavor of iced tea, so drinking it cold is entirely out of the question. 
3. Coffee - Puke. No bubbles. Warm, tastes like ass unless you fill it full of calorie laden additives. 
4. Sparkling water - Hmmmm?  Quite possibly the best alternative to diet soda but very expensive and it tastes kind of awful. I am intrigued by the thought of adding peppermint oil to it, but that won't infuse it with caffeine or reduce it's price. 
5. Water - so exceedingly BLAH that I am going to fall asleep writing about it...

Now that I have finished refuting the qualities of all replacement beverages, aka "acting like a spoiled brat", I am going to have to get off my high horse and chose one, or more, of them to drink. Green Girl watched me consume a bottle of diet soda today with a look in her sweet little eyes that told me she was already practically an addict based solely on the example I was setting for her.  Shit. It broke my heart. :-(  I need to be a better role model.

I hate being a responsible adult.

Diet Soda Addiction

I love diet soda.  I love it I love it I love it!!!  Too much.  Way too much.  I would blog how many ounces of this "liquid gold beverage of ultimate yumminess" that I drink in one day...but that would be embarrassing.  Suffice it to say, I have a problem.  We can leave it at that.

Or we could, until I had kids and the following conversation occurred last week:

Green Boy, Green Girl and I are driving home from work/school.  It is dark.  I am exhausted.  McDonalds has 32 ounce sodas for $1.  Obviously we are making a McDonald's pit stop on the way home. (Obviously.)

Green Boy:  Momma, please don't drink diet soda anymore.  Momma, PLEASE don't drink diet soda anymore.  MOMMA, PLEASE DON'T DRINK DIET SOOOOOOOOOODAAAA ANYMORE!!!

Green Momma:  Green Boy, if Momma doesn't drink it she will fall asleep driving home.

(pause)

Green Momma:  Why don't you want me to drink diet soda? (I cringe and brace for the answer - my guilty conscience knows this isn't going to be good.)

Green Boy:  I don't want you to go to heaven yet.

----------------------------------

Wow.  Crap.  Big sad face.

I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't that.

Long story short...healthy and unhealthy eating habits had been discussed at Green Boy's school that day.  Diet soda was given as an example of an unhealthy eating habit.  Green Boy regaled his classmates and teachers with information on exactly how much diet soda his mommy drinks and how often she drinks it.  Everyone was shocked.  He knew details I didn't even consciously recognize. I do now. Sigh.

And thus begins yet another attempt at cutting the most delicious beverage in the world from my life.  I recognize the problem, but I am allowing myself to be in denial.  Just for a few more days. :-)

Welcome To My Blog

Welcome to my blog!

I am a thirty "something" mother to two adventurous and active kids - Green Boy and Green Girl.  Besides being a Momma, I work as an accountant.  I grew up in a rural area with a large family - 5 siblings - so I had to learn to share and to work for the things that I want.  I am very thankful to my parents for both of those skills.  I love to dance. I love to laugh.  I am extremely stubborn and fairly opinionated.  This blog may contain adult language.  I do not apologize for that.

Green Boy (4 yrs old) and Green Girl (1 yr old) are the loves of my life!  Odd how little people come along and change everything.  Five years ago my childless self would never have believed half of the things I am doing now...or that those are the very things that make me the happiest.


My husband, Green Papa, travels for work.  A lot.  He is on the road 80% of the time.  This leaves me to run the household, as well as work, and strive to keep my sanity. Last week I left the house wearing mismatched shoes.  Shit happens.

A lot is going on in 2013 for this Green Momma:

• My only sister, Indigo Tante (Tante is German for "Aunt"), is getting married.
• Green Papa and I put our house on the market.  Living in a staged house with two kids is totally awesome and I highly recommend it. :-/  We currently live near the ghetto. Green Boy and Green Girl do not get to go to inner city schools. At the rate this is going maybe our house will sell by the time Green Boy is in fifth grade. One can only hope.
• Green Girl cannot digest cow's milk protein so she and I are on a dairy free diet.
• Green Boy outed my severe diet soda addiction.  It has reached epic proportions if he is noticing at all (he inherited Green Papa's attention span).  I hope to end this addiction in 2013 once and for all.
• I have made several New Year's Resolutions:
• Become a better photographer.
• Eat healthier. a.k.a. "quit eating meals delivered through my car window"...a.k.a. "Cook more DAMN IT!"
• Read books.
• Take better care of myself.  Take a few guilt-free minutes, once a week, to do something just for me.
• Start a blog.

Expect me to blog about the above, and whatever else this "Game of Life" throws my way.