Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Shoe Obsession

I am obsessed with shoes.  Tall shoes.  I love to be 6'+ tall.  This is accomplished by my collection of skyscraper heels.  Nothing lifts my spirits quite like a new pair of beautiful, excessively tall heels in a rich color or texture.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh happiness! :-)

Before children I had many pairs of gorgeous shoes.  Shoes were my thing.  Now?  Let's just say that I have kids instead of shoes.

I needed a beautiful pair of shoes today.  NEEDED them.  I was in a mood.  A MOOD, I tell you.  I'll skip to the end of this story and let you know that I did not receive a beautiful pair of shoes and I am still in a terrible mood.  But they say blogging is cheaper than therapy, so here goes...

(BTW this is probably the most boring blog post of all time.  Continue reading at your own risk - exceedingly tedious mommy rant ahead.)

Work was typical.  I am usually more equipped to deal with people who will not take responsibility for their actions, but Green Girl is teething and has woken up every two hours for the last four nights.  It is torture.  My defenses against work politics are not what they should be.  That started my "mood from hell."  It didn't help that I skipped lunch.  It didn't help that a realtor showed my house today, but didn't write an offer.  It also didn't help that Green Papa called me at 5pm to let me know that he wouldn't be home until 7pm - meaning he was going to miss helping with dinner/bed time routines.  He is not traveling (for once) and I was really relying on him to help this evening.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  In addition, I found out when I picked up Green Boy from preschool that he needed a raincoat for his zoo field trip tomorrow.  Not a big deal, I will buy one.  I live in Oregon, it rains year round here, it is January, stores must be chock full of raincoats, right?


After dinner, I drug my sorry ass to three stores and nary a one had a raincoat.  The lady at Babies R Us acted like I was bat shit crazy for thinking that they would carry a raincoat in January.  "Raincoats are spring/summer items, duh!  Not fall/winter ones!!!," she mockingly announced to everyone within earshot.  Awesome customer service, Babies R Us.  Truly spectacular.  All I could do, after a comment like that, was stare at her until she awkwardly moved out of sight down a different aisle.  Did I mention I was wearing all black and a scowl that would rival Grumpy Cat?  'Bat shit crazy' may be fairly accurate.  The employees at Old Navy had the decency to act like they thought raincoats were a common request this time of year, and they even pretended to be puzzled that they had none in stock.  Target had a one size fits all paper-thin rain poncho, which is what Green Boy will be wearing tomorrow over his winter coat.  I cut the bottom off so that he won't trip on it and it looks fucking AWESOME.  Not at all like a garbage bag with a hole for his head. :-/

I decreed, before I went shopping, that Green Boy was to be in bed upon my return or there would be no zoo trip.  He was technically in bed when I got home. But now, two hours later, he is bouncing off his room walls.  I loudly fake-called his preschool teacher to tell her that I wasn't letting him go to the zoo unless he fell asleep in five minutes.  So far that tactic has been largely ineffective.  I have chosen to ignore the noises coming from his room, that way I don't have to eat crow tomorrow when I allow him to go to the zoo since I have no other daycare options.  The little turd has probably figured that out.

I am on my 64th ounce of diet soda for the day.  Quitting soda - not going so well.  Shit.

At this point, my hope is that my crankiness and despair will melt away during one of my two hour sleep cycles and I will awake refreshed.  Ha. Ha.  Maybe if I wear a sweet pair of heels tomorrow will be a brighter day?

That sounds about right. :-)


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